Santo vs. the Riders of Terror

 

(1970) Directed by René Cardona; Written by René Cardona and Jesús Murcielago Velázquez; Starring: Santo, Armando Silvestre, Julio Aldama, Mary Montiel, Gregorio Casal, Ivonne Govea and Carlos Agostí; Available on Blu-ray and DVD 

Rating: ***

 

“Being locked up in there was like being buried alive. It’s hardly a life at all. We want to die in the open air. That’s all.” – José (Gregorio Casal)

“There’s an even greater danger, doctor – mass hysteria amongst the townsfolk, those people infecting other pour souls, and not being able to do anything to stop it.” – Santo

Even if you know nothing about Santo, lucha libre, or professional wrestling in general, you’ve doubtlessly heard of Santo, the silver masked man. Santo (real name: Rodolfo Guzmán Huerta) enjoyed a prolific film career* outside the ring, starring in more than 50 movies from the late ‘50s to the early ‘80s. Over the years, he faced a diverse array of adversaries, including Frankenstein’s monster, vampires, werewolves, Martians, and international spies. In Santo vs. the Riders of Terror (aka: Santo Contra Los Jinetes Del Terror), our hero** faced a different kind of antagonist: ignorance and fear. There was also a spicier “international” version under the curious title Lepers and Sex (aka: Los Leprosos y el Sexo), but more on this in a moment… 

* Fun Fact #1: Although Santo was the most famous lucha libre star to make the transition from ring to screen, he was initially reluctant to appear in movies. 

** Fun Fact #2: While Santo made his mark in the wrestling arena and films as a hero (aka: “técnico”), he initially started out as a “rudo,” or villain.

Santo’s* latest adventure brings him to the old west. How did he get there? Did he invent a time machine to fight injustice in the 19^th century? Or is he the original Santo, first in a long line of Santos? So many questions, so few answers (perhaps we should just move on). The peace in a small town is disrupted when several individuals suffering from leprosy escape from their hospital compound. Panic ensues amongst the townspeople, as the patients make their way through the residents' homes, searching for food and supplies. It doesn’t take long to realize that the real villain of our story is Camerino (Julio Aldama), stirring up fear and distrust within the community, setting up the escaped patients as perfect scapegoats. Camerino’s rhetoric about taking matters into their own hands doesn’t sit well with Dario, the sheriff (Armando Silvestre), who might be in over his head. Thankfully, hope has arrived in the form of our silver-masked hero Santo, who brings his own brand of frontier justice. Meanwhile, Camerino hatches a scheme to manipulate the leprosy victims for his own selfish ends. Can Santo protect the town, prevent the senseless murder of the patients,** and defeat Camerino and his gang of outlaws? Hint: If you didn’t answer “yes,” you’ve likely never seen a Santo movie. 

* Fun Fact #3: Even if you watch a Santo movie in Spanish (as nature intended), you’re not hearing his actual voice. Santo was dubbed by several different actors over the years, with Óscar Morelli providing his voice for Santo Contra Los Jinetes Del Terror. 

** Interesting Fact (Spoiler Alert): At the film’s conclusion, Santo proclaims that a cure exists for leprosy. The only problem is that a reliable treatment (requiring a combination of drugs) wasn’t discovered until the early 1980s, roughly a century after the events depicted in the movie (Perhaps my theory about Santo being a time-traveler from the future wasn’t wrong).

Compared to some of his other adventures, you’d think people suffering from Hansen’s disease (leprosy) might not be the most compelling adversaries, but I’d blame the misleading title. While Camerino presents the leprosy patients as a boogeyman to the already frightened townspeople, he pretends to be the patients’ ally, only to implicate them in the murders and thievery inflicted by his gang. What he didn’t count on was our hero, who relies on his ingenuity (and formidable wrestling skills) to right wrongs. Since this is a Santo movie, you can bet there will be a wrestling match or two, but this time around, Santo’s wrestling scenes appear more contrived than usual. Film historian David Wilt speculated that the film might have been originally envisioned as a stand-alone western, before Santo was shoehorned into the plot. It’s tough to disagree with this position, considering Santo’s opponents in two fight scenes likely wouldn’t be more than a mild annoyance to the seasoned luchador.

Producer Guillermo Calderón jumped on the bandwagon for a short-lived trend in late ‘60s/early ‘70s Mexican filmmakers, who created versions exclusively for export.* Consequently, Calderón and director René Cardona added six minutes of sex scenes to the family-friendly Santo vs. the Riders of Terror, resulting in the more adult-oriented, Lepers and Sex.** Apparently fearing Santo’s status as a Mexican cultural icon wouldn’t translate to international audiences, Calderón added some enticement beyond the silver-masked man to sell movie tickets. Whether you think it’s a shrewd or cynical business move, the alternate cut indisputably exists (thanks to the deluxe Blu-ray edition from Indicator). Do these scenes help the plot, or move the story forward? No, not really, but not to “yuck” anyone’s “yum,” if you prefer your Santo movies a little more picante, this alternate version might fit the bill. Regardless of which one you prefer, after years of seeing poorly dubbed prints or versions with unwelcome snarky commentary, it’s a bit of a revelation to have not one, but two complete, unadulterated versions for your viewing pleasure. 

* Fun Fact #4: Prior to Riders of Terror, Calderón production of Santo in the Treasure of Dracula (1969) experienced a similar treatment, with a softcore export version (El Vampiro y el Sexo). 

** Fun Fact #5: The decision to create a softcore version was not without some controversy, with rumors that Santo didn’t know about what was going on behind the scenes (Santo, himself, never appears in the sex scenes), but this just doesn’t hold water. Considering that he was one of the co-producers, it’s unlikely the decision was made without his knowledge or input.

Don’t look for moral ambiguity in Santo vs. the Riders of Terror. As is de rigueur for the silver-masked man the heroes and villains are clearly delineated, with Santo and sheriff Dario standing for what’s good and just, and Camerino representing the evils of society. Despite the lurid, misnomer-laden title, the film takes a surprisingly even-handed approach to the unfortunate characters suffering from leprosy (perhaps a more representative title could have been Santo vs. Public Ignorance). As Santo’s only western (not to mention the aforementioned alternate cut), Santo vs. the Riders of Terror is a bit of an outlier, but an otherwise worthy entry in the luchador’s filmography.  

 

Sources for this article: Commentary by Film Historian David Wilt; “El Santo vs. Mystery Science Theater 3000,” by Emily Rauber Rodriguez, The Velvet Light Trap (Number 85, Spring 2020); The World of Lucha Libre, by Heather Levi

 

July Quick Picks and Pans

 

Brewster McCloud (1971) But Cort stars in the title role, as an odd, reclusive young man who lives in the basement of the Houston Astrodome, and dreams of flying like a bird. Sally Kellerman is Brewster’s guardian angel Louise, with wings tattooed on her back. Shelley Duvall (in her first film role) plays Suzanne, an eccentric young woman who befriends Brewster. The film boasts several bizarre supporting performances, including Margaret Hamilton as Daphne Heap, a tone-deaf socialite who attempts to sing the National Anthem (she does a parody of her Wicked Witch character). Stacy Keach also appears as a 99-year-old wealthy curmudgeon, and the story is told by Rene Auberjonois as the Lecturer, a college professor with a tenuous grip on his sanity. Amidst the mayhem, the police search for a serial killer who anoints his victims with bird poop. Director Robert Altman keeps a lot of threads going in this whimsical comedy/drama that almost defies description. It wasn’t a hit with critics or audiences, but I enjoyed its quirky vibe. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

Amuck! (1972) Barbara Bouchet stars as Greta, a young woman searching for her missing friend Sally (Patrizia Viotti), in this sexually charged giallo from writer/director Silvio Amadio. Greta takes a secretary job with her friend’s last-known employer, a morally ambiguous writer, played by Farley Granger. His wife Eleanora (Rosalba Neri) takes an interest in Greta, with less than honorable intentions. The plot has some nice twists and turns as the writer and his wife constantly gaslight Greta as she approaches the truth. This well-paced thriller is full of enough red herrings to keep you guessing (not to mention Bouchet and Neri are easy on the eyes). 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray (Region B), DVD (Region 2), and Tubi

Death Line (aka: Raw Meat) (1972) Donald Pleasence plays Inspector Calhoun, a sarcastic, world-weary police detective investigating a missing high-ranking government official. His investigation leads him to a closed-off section of the London Underground which was the site of a late-1800s construction disaster. We learn the survivors, isolated from the surface world, developed their own society, along with a taste for human flesh. Christopher Lee has a short but memorable cameo as a haughty MI5 agent, but the real draw is Pleasence, who chews the scenery every chance he gets. The film is a bit too leisurely paced for its own good, but the subterranean scenes are appropriately claustrophobic and the gory makeup effects are very well done. 

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray, DVD, Prime Video 

 Challenge the Devil (1963) The only devilish challenge is trying to stay awake while watching this movie. Slow to start, the film doesn’t really dive into the main story until 20 minutes have elapsed. The rest of the movie is told in flashback by a monk who, in his earlier days, hung out with a bad crowd. The young delinquents stumble into what seems like an abandoned castle, only to meet its owner (Christopher Lee), an elderly man. They become trapped in his castle with no discernable escape. Top-billed Lee is barely on screen, the characters are uniformly unlikeable, and the film moves at a sloth-like pace. Everyone but die-hard Christopher Lee fans should probably skip it. 

Rating: **. Available on Blu-ray (included in Severin’s The Eurocrypt of Christopher Lee Collection), DVD (out of print), Tubi and Midnight Pulp 

 

Death Warmed Up (1984) Michael (Micheal Tucker) becomes the unwitting participant in a medical mind-control experiment, resulting in him killing his parents. Seven years later, he’s released from prison and out for revenge against the doctor (Gary Day) who altered his brain chemistry. He and his friends face an army of deadly mutants in the secret island compound run by the doctor. Most of the film consists of the characters running around dark corridors, while spewing various bodily substances. It’s a confusing experience with paper-thin characters and very little payoff. Don’t bother. 

Rating: *½ . Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Tubi 

 

 

Dead Ringers

 

(1988) Directed by David Cronenberg; Written by David Cronenberg and Norman Snider; Based on the novel, Twins, by Bari Wood and Jack Geasland; Starring: Jeremy Irons, Geneviève Bujold, Heidi von Palleske, Barbara Gordon and Stephen Lack; Available on Blu-ray and DVD

Rating: ****

“When was the last time a gynaecologist was in a movie, even as a figure of fun? There’s something taboo there, something strange and difficult. A lot of people say, ‘I suppose women find this movie much harder to take.’ The answer is, ‘Not really.’ For a lot of women, the opening scene of gynaecological examination is no big deal. Later on, when it gets weird, of course it’s uncomfortable. But, for a lot of men, that very first scene is the worst. They’ve never been there; they’ve never seen it; they don’t want to think about it.” – David Cronenberg (excerpted from his book, Cronenberg on Cronenberg)

Twins (especially identical twins) share an uncanny bond that few of us non-twins can fully comprehend. To the outside observer, their relationship seems almost supernatural, including thinking the same thoughts to sharing similar tastes or sensations. Considering David Cronenberg’s predilection toward themes of duality, it’s easy to see why a film featuring twins as the primary characters would be an appealing subject. Dead Ringers is not as readily classifiable as some of his earlier films, neither horror nor science fiction, but adjacent to both. The film was inspired by the real-life story of Cyril and Stewart Marcus, twin gynecologists*/** who were discovered dead in Cyril’s New York City apartment in 1975. Their real-life tragedy, in turn, inspired Bari Wood and Jack Geasland’s fictional account, Twins. For his rewrite of the script, Cronenberg was strongly influenced by the real Marcus twins, as well as the 1976 Esquire article “Dead Ringers,” about their strange and morbid tale. Getting the film made was a 10-year uphill battle with Cronenberg facing squeamish executives who were on board with the idea of twins, but protesting, “Why do they have to be gynecologists?” Considering Cronenberg’s inherent fascination with permutations of the flesh and sexual politics, depicting his twins in some other random occupation was out of the question.   

* Fun Fact #1: Although Cyril and Stewart were twins, unlike their fictional counterparts in the film, they were not identical. Because they looked very similar and dressed alike, the misconception was perpetuated. This carried over to their practice, in which one would sometimes pretend to be the other to fool patients.  

The opening scene depicts young Elliot and Beverly Mantle trying to recruit a neighbor girl for their “experiment” in reproduction (their proposal goes over about as well as you would expect). The scene establishes their attitude on the otherness of female anatomy and their clinical approach to something that is more than a simple biological function. Flash forward to the twins in medical school, when much to the chagrin of their professor, the twins are using a medical instrument created by Beverly (which would later become the so-called “Mantle Retractor”)* to examine a cadaver (their instructor comments that it would never work on a living patient). The story moves to the present day, in which Elliot and Beverly share a thriving practice, as well as an apartment. Their tendency to share carries over to sexual partners, which backfires when a patient, Claire Niveau (Geneviève Bujold),** enters their lives (Beverly is especially drawn to her when he discovers that she possesses a rare anatomical abnormality). When she becomes wise to their deception, it unleashes a chain of events that contribute to their downfall. While Beverly slips into a self-destructive spiral of prescription drugs and paranoid delusions, Elliot isn’t too far behind. 

* Fun Fact #2: The Mantle Retractor is based on a real gynecological instrument invented in Toronto, Canada by Dr. Donald Balfour (the “Balfour Retractor”). 

** You can bet that Cronenberg will invariably have one of his characters make an off-the-wall proclamation, and Dead Ringers doesn’t disappoint, when Beverly muses that instead of the usual beauty pageants that focus on the outside, there should be a pageant for beautiful insides (“Best Spleen,” anyone?).   

To help create the illusion that Irons was two separate individuals,* Cronenberg and crew went beyond traditional split-screen effects. Film Effects of Toronto employed an “invisible traveling soft split-screen,” which allowed Irons to move around the frame, with no visible split. The crew also employed a motion-control camera for some scenes, so Irons could act out a scene as one twin and retrace his steps as the second twin. 

* Fun Fact #3: There are approximately 14 shots where the twins appear together.

The greatest special effect in the film, however, lies in Jeremy Irons’ masterful, nuanced performance, as Elliot and Beverly Mantle. Irons achieves nearly the impossible, convincing us there are two separate, flesh-and-blood individuals. Irons doesn’t fall on the familiar good/evil tropes for his depiction of the twins. The differences are more subtle, but they’re there. Elliot, the dominant twin, is outgoing and forthright, whereas Beverly is shy, introspective, and emotionally sensitive. Elliot loves to clamor for attention, teaching and promoting his profession, while Beverly prefers to stay out of the limelight, content to work in the research aspect. Despite their differences, they have more aspects in common, suggesting a symbiotic relationship. They are bound to one another to the point, when push comes to shove, the fear of separation is palpable. Beverly illustrates their unique connection when he discusses the strange case of so-called “Siamese twins” Chang and Eng with his brother (when one died, the other subsequently died from fright over the loss of his sibling).  

A rift between the twins develops when Beverly becomes emotionally entangled with Claire. Compared to the twins’ warped attitude on relationships, Claire brings a well-grounded perspective. Her reaction to being passed around by the two brothers without her consent or knowledge, like community property, is a horrifying proposition. When she calls them on their subterfuge, she uncovers (perhaps for the first time) how dysfunctional their behavior has been. Unlike most people that encounter the Mantles, she can discern between the two, and her preference for Beverly is clear.

Beverly’s deteriorating mental state is most disturbingly illustrated in a scene when he tries using his retractor on one of his regular patients. As established in an earlier scene she trusts him implicitly, which only makes his betrayal of that trust more painful. Her resulting discomfort is ignored by Beverly, who argues there’s nothing wrong with his instrument, effectively shutting her down. When he silences her objections, it lays bare the blind trust many patients have with their doctors, but most telling is the skewed power dynamic between the male doctor and female patient. When questioned by his brother, Beverly responds, “The woman’s body was all wrong.” Instead of ruminating on his trespasses, the incident only prompts him to commission a metal-working artist (Stephen Lack) to create stainless steel instruments of his own design, for “operating on mutant women”

David Cronenberg infuses a level of unreality into Dead Ringers, revealing the Mantles’ twisted world. One of the most striking visual embellishments are the crimson surgical garments by costume designer Denise Cronenberg. Rather than being neutral or calming, they invoke quite the opposite effect. The colorful yet unsettling surgical gowns contrast sharply with the Mantles’ apartment, with its sterile, slate-gray walls and spartan furnishings. Another example is the nightmare sequence: we focus on Claire until the camera pans over to reveal she’s in bed with Elliot and Beverly, who are joined by a pulsing conduit of flesh. But perhaps Cronenberg’s icing on this fetid cake are Beverly’s instruments (based on designs by Cronenberg, of course), which resemble alien torture devices (You don’t have to be a gynecologist to understand these were never intended for human beings). Frequent Cronenberg collaborator Howard Shore’s melancholic score is another key component in Dead Ringers, matching the intensity and sadness of the tale at hand. 

* Fun Fact: Cronenberg had filmed a second nightmare sequence, featuring a scrawny, parasitic Elliot emerging from Beverly. He decided to cut the scene after test screenings, because he felt it took the audience out of the film.

 

Duality is a theme that David Cronenberg has returned to repeatedly, not because he likes to beat his audience over the head with a tired old theme, but because he has so much to say about it. From Shivers to A History of Violence, the idea of dual lives is a common thread throughout Cronenberg’s filmography, and Dead Ringers is among his most cohesive works. It’s a compelling character study of a complicated and ultimately self-destructive relationship, made credible by Jeremy Irons’ never-less-than engaging double performance.

 

Sources for this article: Shout Factory Blu-ray commentary by William Beard; Cronenberg on Cronenberg, by David Cronenberg; David Cronenberg: Interviews, Edited by David Schwartz; “Dead Ringers: A Bizarre Case of the Death of Twins,” by Ron Rosenbaum and Susan Edmiston, Esquire (March 1, 1976); “Visuals for Dead Ringers Inspire Belief,” by Nora Lee, American Cinematographer (December 1988); “Our Surgical Heritage: The Legends of Exposure,” by Rao R. Ivatury, Panamerican Journal of Trauma, Critical Care and Emergency Surgery (2021, Volume 10, Issue 1)  

 

Medical Nightmares Month Quick Picks and Pans

Horror Hospital (1973) Michael Gough stars as the unscrupulous Dr. Christian Storm, who runs a sanitorium for young adults. The sanitorium is only a ruse, however, to provide a steady supply of unwilling test subjects for his experimental brain surgery (as a deterrent for potential escapees, the doctor’s limousine is equipped with a blade for quick and easy decapitations). The operation results in zombies who obey his every command. Robin Askwith and Vanessa Shaw play two 20-something patients who attempt to foil his plans, while trying to make it out alive. Gough is in top form playing another warped character you love to hate. Good, darkly comic fun. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD 

 

Infection (2004) In director/co-writer Masayuki Ochiai’s unsettling, claustrophobic medical horror thriller, tensions run high at a small, financially strapped hospital. Already understaffed, overworked, and underpaid, the doctors and nurses are stretched beyond the breaking point when an infection of unknown origin runs through the patients and staff. The disease exerts a psychological and physiological effect on its victims, twisting perceptions while it transforms them into puddles of green goo. While the plot gets a bit muddy, it’s worth seeing for the strong performances and creepy atmosphere. 

Rating: ***½. Available on DVD and Tubi.

The Dentist (1996) When a high-strung dentist, Dr. Feinstone (Corbin Bernsen) discovers that his wife Brooke (Linda Hoffman) has been cheating on him with the pool man, his sanity goes off the deep end. Starting with Brooke, he takes his revenge on anyone else who crosses him. Although the makeup effects are suitably icky, the film overall is surprisingly restrained, with much more implied than shown. If you had an aversion to visiting the dentist before seeing this movie, it’s not likely to change your opinion. Look for a young Mark Ruffalo as a sleazy agent, Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) as a police detective, and Earl Boen (Terminator, T2: Judgement Day) as a crooked IRS auditor. Directed by Brian Yuzna and co-written by Dennis Paoli, Stuart Gordon, and Charles Finch, The Dentist doesn’t break new genre ground, but it achieves its modest goals. 

Rating: ***. Available on DVD and Tubi 

Scalpel (1977) Dr. Phillip Reynolds (Robert Lansing), a morally bankrupt plastic surgeon, concocts an elaborate scheme to seize his runaway daughter’s (Judith Chapman) $5 million inheritance. An opportunity falls in his lap when he discovers a stripper who has been left for dead on the streets, with her face destroyed. He takes her under his wing, reconstructing her face in his daughter’s image. He grooms the ersatz daughter (also played by Chapman) to convince his lawyer and the rest of his family that she’s the real deal. Complications ensue, however, when the real daughter returns, only to find her doppelganger in her place. While far from perfect, it’s a decent thriller with a good twist ending.  

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray and Tubi

12 Hour Shift (2020) Set in a rural Arkansas hospital over the course of one night, anything can and often does happen. Mandy (Angela Bettis), a nurse at the end of her rope, keeps herself going by pilfering various drugs from the hospital, and taking part in a black-market organ transplant ring. When her dimwitted cousin (Chloe Farnworth) misplaces a kidney, it becomes just one of a cascade of unfortunate events, including bad weather, power outages, and a dangerous convict (David Arquette) on the loose. Matters are made worse by some inept cops and a less-than-helpful nursing staff. Writer/director Brea Grant’s black comedy keeps a lot of plates spinning, sometimes stretching credulity to its breaking point, but the colorful characters, amusing dialogue, and outrageous situations make this a diverting watch.   

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

Night of the Bloody Apes (1969) In this Mexican exploitation film from director/co-writer René Cardona, a “gorilla” (although in the establishing shots, it’s clearly an orangutan) is taken from the local zoo by Dr. Krallman (José Elías Moreno), desperate to save his terminally ill son Julio (Agustín Martínez Solares). He successfully transplants the gorilla’s heart into his son (including some real open-heart surgery footage), but there’s an unexpected side-effect: Julio transforms into a murderous, hulking ape creature that kills men and rips the clothes off unsuspecting women. There’s also a women’s wrestling subplot that somehow figures into the story, prompting me to wonder if this started as another Santo movie (sadly, there’s no match with the monster). Stupid, silly and exploitive, but never dull. 

Rating: **½ stars. Available on Blu-ray, DVD, Prime Video and Midnight Pulp 

The Immortalizer (1989) This film features a B-movie premise that could have been a fun throwback to cheapo ‘40s and ‘50s productions if it hadn’t been so clumsily executed. Dr. Divine (Ron Ray) runs an underground clinic that transplants the brains of old, rich people into young, healthy bodies. A young man escapes the clinic, but returns to investigate the disappearance of his brother and their dates who have become subjects for the doctor’s experiments. Much like 1957’s The Unearthly, which the film seems to take its inspiration from, the action mostly takes place in one house, with interminable scenes of the characters running around. Even at 96 minutes, it seems at least 20 minutes too long. 

Rating: **. Available on Blu-ray and Prime Video 

Hellhole (1985) In this would-be thriller, Judy Landers stars as Susan Walker, an amnesiac in a mental hospital. The facility is lorded over by the sadistic Dr. Fletcher (Mary Woronov), who conducts experimental chemical lobotomies on patients in a clinic affectionately known as “Hellhole.” Meanwhile, she’s relentlessly pursued by the same hired killer (Ray Sharkey) who killed her mother. Susan’s memory holds the key to the whereabout of some “papers,” although their significance is never made clear. The movie features lots of gratuitous nudity to distract you from the fact that the story is so underbaked (including former Russ Meyer starlet Edy Williams as a fellow patient, whose sole purpose seems to be appearing in various states of undress). By the time the film sputters to an end, you’ll probably cease to care. 

Rating: **. Available on Blu-ray and Tubi 

X-Ray (aka: Hospital Massacre) (1981) Barbi Benton stars as Susan, a divorced businesswoman visiting the hospital for a routine exam. What was supposed to be a brief consultation with her doctor turns into an indefinite hospital stay when someone tampers with her X-rays, making it seem as if she’s suffering from a serious illness. As the body count piles up, it becomes evident that she’s the killer’s real target. An interesting premise is squandered by standard slasher trappings, and a comically incompetent hospital staff (who somehow fail to notice all the deaths). 

Rating: **. Available on Blu-ray, Prime Video and Tubi 

Surgikill (1989) Andy Milligan’s final film, this aggressively unfunny slasher comedy, ensured that his career went out with a whimper. Chaos is the rule at Goode Hospital, a struggling community hospital (which appears to be comprised of three rooms). A killer roams the halls, dispatching the clueless hospital staff. With its haphazard editing, cringe-worthy acting, and gags that consistently fall flat, Surgikill falters, even by Milligan’s questionable standards. 

Rating: *½. Available on DVD, Midnight Pulp, Prime Video and Tubi 

 

 

 

The Man Who Could Cheat Death

(1959) Directed by Terence Fisher; Written by Jimmy Sangster; Based on the play The Man in Half Moon Street by Barré Lyndon; Starring: Anton Diffring, Hazel Court, Christopher Lee, Arnold Marlé, and Delphi Lawrence; Available on Blu-ray and DVD

Rating: ***½

“I must insist in saying that there are no South American versions, nor are there any Japanese versions or any other versions. This is what happens: we shoot the scenes up to the point where we say, ‘This is it; no further; this is how it should be.’ Subsequently, the complete integral version is submitted to the censors of each country, whereupon they decide what could be cut and what should be left in… There was only one scene they asked me to shoot for possible export. That was a waist nude of Hazel Court when she was posing in The Man Who Could Cheat Death.” – Terence Fisher (on shooting alternate film versions for Hammer)

 

Ever since our species have contemplated our mortality, it’s been the dream of philosophers, scientists, and the wealthy to find the secret to prolonging life. Barré Lyndon’s 1939 play The Man in Half Moon Street ran with this theme, followed by the 1944 Paramount film adaptation. Seeking to get a piece of the late ‘50s Hammer Horror pie, Paramount offered their property to the production company. Peter Cushing was offered the starring role, but when he turned it down for unknown reasons (presumably exhaustion), Hammer scrambled to find a replacement. The logical choice was Anton Diffring,* who played the role in 1957, for a one-hour segment of the British television series, Hour of Mystery (sadly, it’s presumed lost). Hammer’s version was retitled The Man Who Could Cheat Death,** with the play’s main character, John Thackeray, changed to Georges Bonnet for the latest version. 

* Fun Fact #1: The re-casting of Diffring was truly a last-minute decision, with producer Michael Carreras offering the role only five days before shooting was to begin. 

** Fun Fact #2: The film’s working title was The Man in the Rue Noire, before it became known as The Man Who Could Cheat Death.

Set in Paris, circa 1890, doctor and hobbyist sculptor Georges Bonnet (Anton Diffring) has set up his practice in a new place (curiously, we never see him practicing medicine or treating a single patient). Just as he’s about to retire his latest model/muse Margo Philippe (Delphi Lawrence), an old flame from his days in Italy, Janine Du Bois (Hazel Court), walks back into his life. When Janine agrees to pose for Bonnet’s unfinished project, a nude bust, their passion is reignited – much to the disdain of her current boyfriend, Dr. Pierre Gerrard (Christopher Lee). Meanwhile, Margo, who’s less than thrilled to have been kicked to the curb, accidentally discovers Bonnet’s secret, which he’s guarded fiercely for decades: an elixir that restores his youth and vitality. As we soon learn, however, the substance only has a temporary effect, with a more permanent solution requiring more drastic measures. Bonnet eagerly awaits the arrival of his elderly colleague Dr. Weiss (Arnold Marlé),* who alone holds the secret to prolonging his life, a surgical procedure involving replacement of the parathyroid gland (which requires replacement every 10 years).** Complications ensue when the now 89-year-old Dr. Weiss (who was once 15 years Bonnet’s junior) reveals that a recent stroke has rendered him incapable of operating. Desperate to preserve his life at any cost, Bonnet is forced to find another doctor who can perform the delicate surgery. But time and his previous misdeeds (moving from place to place each preceding decade, while his models mysteriously disappear) have begun to catch up with him. 

* Fun Fact #3: Marlé, who also appeared with Diffring in the 1957 television version, reprised his role as Dr. Ludwig Weiss for the movie. 

** Fun Fact #4: Although an operation scene seems to suggest that the parathyroid gland was in Bonnet’s abdomen, the real parathyroid gland (humans generally have four) is located around the thyroid gland in the neck.

The film’s greatest strength is in the performances by a cast of exemplary actors.* While some might view Diffring’s performance as Bonnet to be cold and distant, I would argue that he sets the right tone, as someone who’s progressively lost his humanity over the years, desperate to keep his youthful visage at any cost. On the other hand, it’s a little difficult to imagine Peter Cushing occupying the same role, although I’m confident he would have done a good job with his interpretation of the character. Hazel Court is radiant as Bonnet’s muse and former lover, Janine, in what should have been her breakthrough role as a Hammer star (unfortunately, this film proved to be Diffring’s only role for Hammer, and Court’s last). Christopher Lee is underutilized as Dr. Pierre Gerrard, who seems to be there only to serve as the film’s moral compass. Arnold Marlé has a more substantial role as Dr. Weiss, who’s grown ambivalent about his relationship with his longtime friend and colleague. His tipping point is reached when he expresses his disgust to Bonnet about his flagrant disregard for the sanctity of human life. 

* Fun Fact #5: Hammer regular Michael Ripper was reportedly slated to play a scene as a morgue attendant, although it appears the scene was never shot.

Despite the fact that the film was fairly tame compared to its Hammer contemporaries The Curse of Frankenstein and Dracula (aka: Horror of Dracula), the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC) scrutinized every detail of the production, starting with Georges Bonnet’s hobby (they didn’t like the idea that the main character was a sculptor of busts, which was apparently too salacious for audiences). They also objected to the scenes when Bonnet attacked one of the characters with his toxic green hand (the accompanying sound effect was cut from the final print). The BBFC also deemed the final scene too gruesome, so the climactic sequence was truncated for the release version. Most famously, a brief shot of Hazel Court posing topless was excised from the UK and American prints but retained for the European cut (film lovers will be pleased to learn that the recent Vinegar Syndrome release restores the cut shot of Court, as well as the complete final scene).  

 

The Man Who Could Cheat Death resonates with the age-old theme of someone vainly attempting to overcome humankind’s mortal limits. With shades of The Picture of Dorian Gray (minus the painting) and Bluebeard, the film illustrates how the quest for the secret to eternal life is an ultimately selfish pursuit, neither practical nor desirable. It’s too bad it’s not regarded as highly as some other Hammer productions. It stands on its own, featuring an enduring premise, fine performances, and eye-catching color cinematography. By virtue of following The Curse of Frankenstein and Dracula, the bar was set impossibly high for this comparatively lower-key production. While the movie fails to hide its origins as a stage production, its other substantial assets are more than enough to hold our attention. With the benefit of quite a few decades behind its belt, The Man Who Could Cheat Death deserves a reassessment, based on its own merits. Although perhaps a notch below some of Hammer’s most celebrated films, it’s certainly worthy of its Hammer Horror pedigree. 

 

Sources for this article: Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray commentary by Kim Newman and Stephen Jones; “A Hideous Concoction – Film Historian Jonathan Rigby on The Man Who Could Cheat Death” (Vinegar Syndrome featurette); The Hammer Story, by Marcus Hearn and Alan Barnes; Hammer Films: The Unsung Heroes, by Wayne Kinsey

Musical May Quick Picks and Pans

 

True Stories (1986) Writer/director David Byrne is our guide to the fictional town of Virgil, Texas, where they’re about to hold their sesquicentennial celebration. He introduces us to an assortment of Virgil’s eccentric residents, including: Kay and Earl Culver (Annie McEnroe and Spalding Gray), a husband and wife who haven’t spoken to each other in years, a pathological liar (Jo Harvey Allen), Louis Fyne (John Goodman), a good-natured bachelor who just wants a wife, and a woman so lazy she never leaves her bed (Swoosie Kurtz). The actors perform the Talking Heads songs, placing their unique spin on the material. It’s a skewed little slice of Americana, as only David Byrne can show us. 

Rating: ****. Available on Blu-ray and DVD 

 

Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005) This Showtime-produced film, based on the off-Broadway musical by Kevin Murphy and Dan Studney (who also adapted it for the feature), uses the sensationalistic 1936 anti-marijuana scare film as a launching point.  Alan Cumming (who plays multiple roles) is our guide through a world of sin and depravity, as only the devil’s lettuce can take us (allegedly). Watch as ordinary American “teen” couple Mary Lane (Kristen Bell) and Jimmy Harper (Christian Campbell) fall under the spell of the illicit substance, after Jimmy falls in with a bad crowd. The musical numbers are a lot of fun (especially the one taking place in heaven), along with the satirical lambasting of "wholesome” 1930s society. 

Rating: ****. Available on Blu-ray, DVD, Tubi and Prime Video

Lisztomania (1975) The same year he graced us with Tommy, writer/director Ken Russell shot this audacious oddball of a movie, suggesting composer/pianist Franz Liszt (Roger Daltrey) was the rock star of his day. It’s a delirious cocktail of bizarre imagery, sex, and music, like Russell’s greatest hits, distilled into one movie. Don’t look for historical accuracy – just let it flow through your brain as you try to make sense of it all. Paul Nicholas co-stars as Liszt’s friend/rival composer Richard Wagner (who happens to be a vampire), Ringo Starr makes a memorable cameo as the Pope. I can’t say I understood it, but I enjoyed the ride. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD 

Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy (1976) Chances are, you’ve probably never seen a version of Alice in Wonderland like this before. Thanks to the filmmakers of the anything-goes ‘70s, Alice was only one of several adult parodies of beloved (aka: public domain) stories. Alice (Kristine DeBell) is at a crossroads with her frustrated boyfriend, whose advances are constantly thwarted. After another argument over sex (or lack thereof), Alice has a moment of reflection, and decides to learn what all the fuss is about. Thus begins, her trippy quest of self-discovery in Wonderland, where she meets the usual suspects, including the White Rabbit, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, and the Mad Hatter (guess what the 9-3/4 on his hat refers to). Sure, the jokes are corny, and there are too many unnecessary insert shots, but it’s hard not to appreciate the effort that went into making this a genuine musical. The songs (written by Bucky Searles and Jack Stern) are decent, with some highlights being: “Guess I Was Just Too Busy Growing Up,” “Alice Helps Humpty Dumpty Up,” and “What’s a Nice Girl Doing on a Knight Like This?”. Give it a try, if you dare. 

Rating: ***. Available on DVD 

The First Nudie Musical (1976) A struggling independent studio owner (Stephen Nathan) experiences a flash of inspiration to save his livelihood: produce a porn musical. He secures the funding, with the catch that he needs to complete the film within two weeks, or ownership of the studio will transfer to his debtors. Despite a series of setbacks involving casting, songwriting, and working with a rookie director (played by Bruce Kimmel, who wrote and co-directed), the somehow manages to get the production off the ground. The songs are mostly forgettable, and the majority of the jokes fall flat, but it’s harmless enough. Perhaps the premise could be worked into a better movie someday.   

Rating: **½. Available on DVD, Tubi and Prime Video 

Pennies from Heaven (1981) It’s the feel-bad musical sensation of 1981, folks. Herbert Ross’ lavish musical, set in the middle of the Great Depression, is nice to look at, but relentlessly grim from beginning to end. Steve Martin (in what could be his most unlikeable role to date) stars as Arthur Parker, a struggling music salesman prone to flights of fancy. He abandons his wife Joan (Jessica Harper), setting his sights on mild-mannered schoolteacher, Eileen (Bernadette Peters). He effectively ruins her life, as she becomes pregnant, loses her job, and is eventually forced into prostitution to make ends meet. Pennies from Heaven is an exercise in cynicism that ignores what made those ‘30s musicals special. 

Rating: **. Available on DVD

 

 

Rock ‘n Roll High School

 

(1979) Directed by Alan Arkush; Written by Richard Whitley, Russ Dvonch, and Joseph McBride; Story by Alan Arkush and Joe Dante; Starring: P.J. Soles, Clint Howard, Vincent Van Patten, Mary Woronov, Paul Bartel, Dey Young, The Ramones, and Dick Miller; Available on Blu-ray and DVD 

Rating: ***½

“…Roger [Corman], during preproduction, was the only one who thought it was still “Disco High,” because his script was the only one with that title still on it. Every other script said Rock ‘n’ Roll High School. What rock ‘n’ roller’s gonna read for a movie titled “Disco High” in 1979? Two weeks before shooting we broke it to him that the Ramones were not a disco band but punk rockers. `But why can’t they be disco?’ Roger asked. We said, ‘You can’t blow up a high school to disco music.’” – Alan Arkush (excerpted from Roger Corman’s book, How I Made a Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime)

What do you get when you take an ordinary high school comedy, crank up the decibels of the soundtrack, and add generous portions of mayhem? Well, in this case, you get the Roger Corman classic, Rock ‘n Roll High School. Co-writers Alan Arkush (who also directed) and Joe Dante were no strangers to making an “everything goes” style comedy, having collaborated on the 1976 Corman-produced movie, Hollywood Boulevard. Before Rock ‘n’ Roll High School was known by that name, the concept and resulting script went through several iterations over the course of pre-production, from Girls’ Gym, to California Girls, to Disco High. Ultimately, greater wiser heads prevailed (with no offense intended for disco fans), as the focus eventually shifted to rock ‘n’ roll, showcasing the punk band, the Ramones, in what would essentially become their own warped version of A Hard Day’s Night.

The plot is about as simple as they come, but it’s all the music and gags in-between that make this movie worthwhile. Ramones superfan Riff Randell (P.J. Soles),*/**/*** is obsessed with the group beyond all reason (she experiences a fantasy sequence, complete with the band members visiting her at home). In addition to seeing the Ramones in concert, she schemes to bring her song, “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School,” to her favorite band’s attention. Her dreams are thwarted by the new principal, Miss Togar (Mary Woronov), who rules Vincent Lombardi High School with an iron fist (with the help of two toady hall monitors), and considers listening to rock a gateway to deviant behavior. But even when her treasured Ramones tickets are confiscated by Togar and her goons, Riff isn’t so easily deterred. Meanwhile, a love triangle ensues when Riff’s best friend Kate Rambeau (Dey Young) is smitten by dopey but amiable jock Tom Roberts (Vincent Van Patten). Unfortunately, for Kate, he’s gaga over Riff. Will Riff make it to the Ramones concert (and will they perform her song)? Will Togar’s authoritarian tactics prevail? And will Tom and Kate click together? All this and more will be answered before the end credits roll. 

* Fun Fact #1: Prior to filming Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, Soles had never heard of the Ramones. Her initial impression was less than favorable when Arkush gave her a cassette of their music, but their music and energetic performances eventually won her over. 

** Fun Fact #2: Because P.J. Soles was a bit of a hot property after appearing in Halloween (1978), her agent requested a salary above scale (a Corman no-no). Corman opposed paying extra, but ended up agreeing to the salary on the condition that Soles provide her own wardrobe. 

*** Fun Fact #3: Soles wasn’t the film’s only connection to Halloween, with director of photography Dean Cundey providing the cinematography.

The soundtrack in an eclectic yet enjoyable mess, ranging from punk to pop (“Teenage Depression” by Eddie and the Hot Rods, to “Did We Meet Somewhere Before?” a low-key effort from Paul McCartney). Naturally, of course, the main attraction is the seminal punk band the Ramones (Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, and Marky).* Based on their blazing-fast performance in the film,** it’s easy to see why they were a favorite with audiences wherever they played. 

* Fun Fact #4: If you have Sirius in your car, I highly recommend Marky Ramone’s show “Punk Rock Blitzkrieg” on the First Wave channel (End of shameless, sadly unpaid plug). 

** Fun Fact #5: The Ramones played every song from their on-screen concert set twice, so they could choose the better performance for each.

Joe Dante regular Dick Miller* shows up in a small but memorable role as the chief of police, who tries to bring some law and order to the ensuing pandemonium when the students riot. As usual, he doesn’t have a lot of screen time, but he steals the picture with the film’s best line (Sorry, I’m not going to spill it here. You’ll just have to find out). Clint Howard is amusing in his supporting role as the high school fixer, Eaglebauer, who runs a lucrative business out of the boys’ restroom. Paul Bartel (who frequently appeared with Mary Woronov in numerous films), plays an unlikely ally for the students. As the school’s music teacher, Mr. McGree, he discovers his own latent affinity for the Ramones. 

* Fun Fact #6: Watch for a cameo by Joe Dante, appearing opposite Miller as a fellow cop.

Lessons learned (this is about a high school, after all):

• In the 1970s, the average age of an American high school student was 25.
• In 1979, you could purchase 100 Ramones tickets for only $1,000.
• Your permanent record will follow you outside high school, for the rest of your life.
• Body searches by student workers were common practice in American public schools.
• Rock music causes mice to explode.
• Your favorite band will play your unsolicited song if you’re persistent enough.
• The Ramones didn’t need to hook their guitars up to amps, they were just that powerful.
• Don’t be alarmed if Dee Dee Ramone randomly appears in your shower. If you refrain from making eye contact or any sudden movements, he’ll eventually go away.
• More than just a punk band, the Ramones were a unifying force that united the rich and poor, young and old, and the jocks and nerds (Okay, this one might be true).

 

Reportedly, Johnny Ramone wasn’t pleased with how the band was portrayed in the movie, because he felt it softened their image. In later years, however, his opinion seemed to skew in favor of the film. Alan Arkush and Joe Dante (who made multiple contributions to the movie) keep Rock ‘n’ Roll High School moving at a frenetic pace. Woven throughout are a series of one-off and recurring gags including a hapless freshman (played by co-writer Russ Dvonch) who’s continually stuffed into lockers and other inhospitable places, and a giant mouse* who crashes the concert. Above all else, it’s a nice showcase for the Ramones and their music, for fans and the uninitiated, alike. It may not change your life, but then again, maybe it will. 

* Fun Fact #7: The mutant mouse costume was created and worn by a young Rob Bottin. Bottin also provided the “Pinhead” mask, for the Ramones’ concert sequence, which he continued to do for their subsequent concerts.

 

Sources for this article: Blu-ray commentary by Alan Arkush, PJ Soles, and Clint Howard; “How I Made a Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime,” by Roger Corman (with Jim Jerome)