It’s not easy discussing my emotions publicly. I tend to keep things bottled up, instead of expressing myself. I try to quell the nagging voice in my skull that proclaims a movie blog isn’t a place for non-movie things, but life sometimes gets in the way. This week felt like déjà vu – nearly three years after I lost my father, another beloved parent was gone. After battling lymphoma for more than a year, my mom succumbed to the disease, passing away one month shy of her 85th birthday. Once again, I was flooded with positive comments on Twitter, from people I’ve never met, yet consider my friends (I sincerely hope some of us can meet someday). I am thankful to have such support, and to share my experience with those who experienced similar losses. I’m grateful to have met such amazing people online, and our association has made getting through this difficult time a bit easier.
It’s hard to reconcile a lifetime of memories, good and bad. My mom and I were close, but our relationship was complex at times, fraught with ambivalence. What I will remember the most, however, is how she always took the time to listen to me, and provided unconditional support of my endeavors, no matter how outlandish they might have seemed. For good or ill, I’ve inherited her world-weary outlook, sardonic sense of humor and borderline misanthropic leanings. She was a fiercely independent individual, who preferred staying home to traveling. She didn’t have much use for most people or social gatherings, but she cared deeply for her children and grandchildren, was a voracious reader, and enjoyed the peace that came with tending to her garden. Words can’t adequately express how much I’ll miss her.
Because the past year has been touch and go, my blog output hasn’t been quite up to snuff in recent months. Let me re-assure you, however, this is not one of those posts. I’m not going away, and neither is the blog. Although the quantity of posts has suffered, I hope the quality, such as it is, hasn’t been compromised. Things will not be slowing down but picking up. I believe the best therapy is staying busy, and if anything, I hope to increase my presence in the months ahead. I plan to forge ahead with some big plans on the horizon, including new theme months, and perhaps a few surprises. Seven-plus years is a long run without any major updates, and you can’t blame me if I’m ready to do some remodeling on this site. What those changes are going to look like, though, I have no idea.
At the risk of sounding like one of those trite inspirational posters, I’ll leave you with a couple of things: Don’t miss the opportunity to let your friends and loved ones know how important they are to you. Celebrate life, and don’t put things off indefinitely, because you never know how much time is left.
Much love and appreciation to my dear, regular readers.