Big Ass Spider!
(2013) I wasn’t expecting much from director Mike Mendez and writer Gregory
Gieras’ giant bug flick, but I was pleasantly surprised. Taken at face value, it’s nothing new, but the
snappy dialogue and brisk pace hooked me from the start. It’s a fun homage to 50s mutant monsters
that’s aware of its low budget origins (watch for the Lloyd Kaufman cameo as
one of the spider’s victims). Unlike the
cynical B-movie exercise that was Sharknado,
with its incoherent plot and wooden acting, Big
Ass Spider’s filmmakers realize you need more than a ridiculous premise to
keep viewers interested. Aside from the
requisite monster pandemonium, the film takes time to establish its main
characters.
Greg Grunberg stars as unlucky-in-love exterminator Alex,
whose day keeps getting worse by the minute.
In an early scene, he’s bitten by a brown recluse spider, but soon
discovers he has a much bigger problem on his hands when he faces an even
deadlier foe. Soon, he’s in over his
head, helping the U.S. military combat an eight-legged mutant arachnid rampaging
through the streets of Los Angeles. Ray
Wise co-stars as a no-nonsense general, and Lombardo Boyar steals the show as
Alex’s ad hoc sidekick Jose. Highly
recommended.
Rating: *** ½.
Available on Blu-ray and DVD
Bad Milo! (2013)
The second movie in this post to have a title with an exclamation point is
another welcome surprise. Duncan (Ken
Marino) lives a stress-filled life: he’s feeling pressured to help his wife (Gillian
Jacobs) conceive a baby, his obnoxious boss (Patrick Warburton) just embezzled
company funds, and his co-worker accidentally deleted his presentation. All of this stress inevitably winds up in his
bowels, but a trip to the bathroom isn’t enough to alleviate his woes. A creature that resides in his lower
intestine emerges to wreak vengeance on those who crossed him. Director/co-writer Jacob Vaughan manages to
handle this admittedly juvenile premise with wit and a modicum of
restraint. Marino generates sympathy in
his thankless role as the beleaguered Alex.
The movie also features some nice supporting performances, including
Mary Kay Place as his overbearing mother, and Peter Stormare as his therapist,
who helps him come to terms with the monster inside (during one session, Alex
comments, “I had a monster up my ass.
It’s the furthest thing from a metaphor!”).
Rating: *** ½.
Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Netflix Streaming
Of Unknown Origin (1983) Based on a novel by Chauncey
G. Parker III, George P. Cosmatos’ urban horror flick stars a pre-Buckaroo Banzai Peter Weller as yuppie
businessman Bart Hughes. Bart seems to
have it all, with a beautiful home, loving family, and a prominent position in
a Manhattan (actually filmed in Montréal) firm. His
life takes a turn for the worse when a large, unseen rat threatens his renovated
house, and his sanity disintegrates in the process. Of Unknown Origin rises above many of its
contemporaries, thanks to some clever commentary on corporate America and the
pursuit of the so-called American dream.
The rat becomes Bart’s white whale, the embodiment of his deepest anxieties
and fears. Despite the film’s aspirations
to be Jaws in a brownstone, Of Unknown Origin works best on a
metaphorical level.
Rating: *** ½.
Available on DVD
The Giant Claw
(1957) This movie was made for late night viewing. Jeff Morrow and Mara Corday star in director
Fred F. Sears’ giant monster epic, featuring one of the goofiest creatures ever
committed to film. Looking something
like a cross between a buzzard and Gonzo the Great, a gigantic bird from “a
galaxy millions of light years away” terrorizes the skies. Mitch MacAfee (Morrow) leads a team of
scientists, endeavoring to find a way to combat the indestructible avian fiend
that threatens any aircraft that cross its path. Throughout the film, we hear constant
comparisons of the creature to a battleship, as if the writers ran out of
analogies. It’s the best kind of stupid,
the kind that could only be made without an ounce of irony. If you’re looking for the ideal title for
B-movie night, search no further.
Rating: ***.
Available on DVD
Dogora (aka: Uchû Daikaijû Dogora) (1964) Watching director
Ishirô Honda’s slow-moving giant space jellyfish flick, I got the distinct
impression that he really wanted to direct a jewel heist story, but based on
his reputation, Toho probably insisted he deliver on a monster movie
instead. The end result is this
(alleged) compromise. At least, that
would explain all the cops and robbers stuff, with a little dash of kaiju
thrown in to spice things up. A massive space
jellyfish floats above Japan, absorbing diamonds and coal for sustenance. Before long, anything carbon-based becomes
its potential dinner. Dogora doesn’t have the wholesale
destruction present in many of Honda’s other, more prominent flicks, but it
might be worth a look, if only for the unique creature, which (at least to this
viewer’s knowledge) never appeared in another Toho kaiju picture.
Rating: ** ½.
Available on DVD
Hell Comes to Frogtown
(1988) This late-80s relic promises much more than it delivers. After
a global nuclear war has left most men impotent, Sam Hell (Roddy Piper), one of
the few surviving virile males, is recruited to rescue some fertile women from
their captors and procreate with them to help repopulate the human species. Well, at least the movie lives up to its
title, as Hell does in fact come to Frogtown, a post-apocalyptic zone run by
frog-human mutants. Unfortunately, once
he gets there, not much happens. There
are a couple stray funny bits, but most of the movie drags when the filmmakers
should have taken more chances with the material instead of pulling their
punches.
Rating: **.
Available on DVD
No comments:
Post a Comment