Sunday, March 30, 2025

Trog

 

Trog Poster

(1970) Directed by Freddie Francis; Written by Aben Kandel; Story by Peter Bryan and John Gilling; Starring: Joan Crawford, Michael Gough, Bernard Kay, Kim Braden; David Griffin, John Hamill and Thorley Walters; Available on Blu-ray and DVD 

Rating: **½ 

I’m elated to participate in another iteration of Brian Schuck’s (from Films Beyond the Time Barrier) “Favorite Stars in B Movies” blogathon. Be sure to check out all the exceptional entries! Today’s offering features the late great Joan Crawford in the crowning glory of her career (ahem) – okay, she probably wanted this deleted from her resume, but her loss is our gain with Trog (1970)…

Trog

“We believe that Trog could be the connection between the creatures of early civilization and man as we know him today. This Troglodyte who somehow survived is a living reminder of what happened after our ancestors the apes left the forest, and first started to walk on hind legs, and take shelter in the caves.” – Dr. Brockton (Joan Crawford) 

“You know what they'll say? They'll say that Trog has a very nasty temper. But what can you expect from a slimy beast? Go ahead, missing link – if that's what you are, you should be missing. You bloody monster!” – Sam Murdock (Michael Gough)

Dr. Brockton and Anne visit Trog

What if, by some accident of nature, we were able to meet one of our ancient ancestors? What could we learn from them, and how would they adapt to the world of the present day? Could we develop a common language? Well, don’t expect any profound answers regarding our origins or insights about the human condition. Trog is strictly Saturday matinee material.* Originally envisioned as a Tigon production,** directed by Hammer alum John Gilling, the film project passed hands to American producer Herman Cohen (best known for ‘50s drive-in hits, I Was a Teenage Werewolf and I Was a Teenage Frankenstein). Now with Freddie Francis (another filmmaker acquainted with Hammer) at the helm, Aben Kandel’s script was based on the original screenplay by Gilling and Peter Bryan. 

* Fun Fact #1: When Trog premiered in the States, it was the second-billed feature, along with Hammer’s Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970). 

** Fun Fact #2: Some working titles for the project were Trog, the Million-Year-Old Man, and The Missing Link.

Exploring the Cavern

A trio of spelunkers explore a cavern nestled in the English countryside, but excitement turns to horror when they discover they’re not alone. The angry cave resident kills one from their party and leaves another critically injured, with the surviving member emotionally scarred. Eminent anthropologist Dr. Brockton (Joan Crawford) returns with the surviving explorer to capture the troglodyte, whom she names “Trog.” Brockton attempts to make some sense of his presence, speculating that by some trick of nature, Trog overslept the Ice Age by a million years (give or take 100,000 years or so), ending up in the 20th century. The troubles are far from over, when Brockton brings Trog back to town to her research facility to observe his behavior. The village residents don’t take kindly to their new visitor (okay, technically he was there millennia before them, but who’s counting?) Their de-facto leader, unscrupulous real estate developer Sam Murdock (Michael Gough), argues that Trog is a menace that should be destroyed.

Trog with Dr. Brockton and Anne

Ever the consummate professional, Joan Crawford brings more dignity and gravitas to the role of Dr. Brockton than it deserved. Whenever she appears on screen, she commands attention. It’s apparent there’s bad blood between Brockton and Murdock that goes back long before the Trog incident, although the movie never makes clear what they previously could have done to get on each other’s bad side (other than some bad old-fashioned misogyny on Murdock’s part). Whatever happened, I’d wager it didn’t come close to harboring an unfrozen cave man. While I doubt Crawford envisioned ending her film career with Trog, judging from her performance, she seemed to treat it with as much respect as she did with Mildred Pierce (1945). From many accounts, she mostly enjoyed her time on the set, and even worked to promote the film, so it seems a stretch to opine that Trog “killed” her career.* Her reasoning for stopping with her 80th feature film, was likely more prosaic.    

* Fun Fact #3: Crawford was reportedly attracted to the film because of her admiration for Planet of the Apes (1968), although Trog likely wasn’t what she had in mind

Sam Murdock

Michael Gough clearly seems to be enjoying every minute as the fiendish Sam Murdock. Under the guise of public safety advocate, we all know he only wants Trog out of the way so he can build his housing project. It’s impossible not to cheer when he receives his well-deserved comeuppance after smashing Dr. Brockton’s laboratory like a petulant child. If anyone watching this film only knows Gough from his performance as Bruce Wayne’s genteel butler Alfred from the Batman movies, they’re in for a treat. If anyone dared to do a modern remake of Trog (Hey, why not a musical?), Murdock would surely be a NIMBY, bristling at the proximity of an anthropological research facility in the neighborhood (“Screw the anthropological find of the century! Don’t you know my property value is going down?”).

Trog Tries on Dr. Brockton's Scarf

Joe Cornelius does a respectable job playing the excitable missing link, with equal parts rage* and tenderness. While Trog clearly has a thing for Brockton’s daughter Anne (Kim Braden), this thread is never fully developed, despite the not-so-subtle hints at Beauty and the Beast. Instead, he carries away a random child at a nearby playground. We don’t get to see his softer side much, except for a brief scene where he tries on Dr. Brockton’s pink scarf (Sadly, we never get to see him get a makeover). Although the budget for Trog would probably make most Amicus or Hammer productions look lavish by comparison, at least the filmmakers splurged for a fairly decent mask.** While the mask is capable of producing different facial expressions, you can still see the actor’s eyes, suggesting the humanity within. Unfortunately, the relative care the filmmakers took with Trog’s face is marred by the fact that the rest of his body didn’t receive the same level of meticulous attention. 

* Fun Fact #4: Producer Herman Cohen fought with the British censors not to cut the scene in which Trog goes on a rampage in a nearby village and hangs a butcher on a meat hook. 

** Fun Fact #5: Film historian David Del Valle dispelled the long-held myth that Trog’s mask was repurposed from 2001: A Space Odyssey (“The Dawn of Man” sequence) (1968). Instead, two new masks were especially created for the film by Charles E. Parker, who coincidentally made the ape man masks for 2001.

Tapping Into Trog's Mind

Perhaps the most baffling aspect of Trog is that the missing link is uniformly regarded as a public nuisance by everyone outside of Dr. Brockton’s circle, instead of the unprecedented scientific find that he is. He’s little more than a dangerous exotic pet that must be kept locked up. Considering his scientific importance, he’s also the worst-kept secret. You’d think he would have been brought to a more secure facility, but then we wouldn’t have had Gough’s marvelously over-the-top lab destruction scene. We never get much insight into Trog’s motivations, although we catch a brief glimpse into his past, complete with anachronistic dinosaurs,* 

* Fun Fact #6: Trog’s flashback scenes were lifted from Irwin Allen’s The Animal World (1956), featuring animation from Ray Harryhausen and his mentor Willis O’Brien.

Trog Holding Girl

If you’ve watched more than a few “creature on the rampage” movies, you know it won’t end up well for Trog. But in spite of the trail of mayhem and murder he’s left, you can’t help but feel sorry for the big hairy guy. The idea of meeting our primitive ancestors has long captured the fascination of film and television producers over the years, from Iceman (1984) to Encino Man (1992) to Saturday Night Live’s “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer” sketches (R.I.P., Phil Hartman). Trog is a paragon of this somewhat absurd tradition, with its curious mix of B-movie monster mayhem and camp. 

 

Sources for this article: Shout Factory Blu-ray commentary by David Del Valle; Interview with Kim Newman; IMD (for film quotes)


Monday, March 24, 2025

March Quick Picks and Pans

Bone Poster

Bone (1972) The lives of well-to-do white middle-aged couple Bill and Bernadette (Andrew Duggan and Joyce Van Patten) are turned topsy turvy when a mysterious black man called Bone (Yaphet Kotto) suddenly enters their lives. Writer/director Larry Cohen’s (in his directing debut) intriguing film defies easy categorization, while it lays bare the hypocrisies of upper-class life. Bone perpetuates an atmosphere of unease, keeping you guessing where it’s going from beginning to end, thanks to Kotto’s great performance as the enigmatic title character. 

Rating: ***½. Available on DVD and Tubi

Dr. Caligari Poster

Dr. Caligari (1989) Loosely based on The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) director/co-writer Stephen Sayadian’s hallucinogenic experience looks more like a filmed performance art piece than a traditional movie. Madeleine Reynal stars as the latest iteration of Dr. Caligari, who uses her patients as guinea pigs. Short on plot but big on atmosphere, Dr. Caligari’s fly-on-the-wall perspective flits from one weird set piece to another, like your own private sideshow. Filled with trippy scenarios and disturbing body horror, you might wonder if someone slipped something in your drink. Aside from the bizarre makeup effects and absurdist dialogue is a fun comic performance by Fox Harris (in his final role) as Caligari’s assistant, the warped Dr. Avol. What does it add up to? Beats me, but I enjoyed the trip. It’s safe to say Dr. Caligari won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’re tired of the same thing, this might just be what you’re seeking. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray and Shudder 

 

The Mad Bomber

The Mad Bomber (aka: The Police Connection) (1973) Bert I. Gordon’s (yes, that Bert I. Gordon) seedy B-exploitation thriller set on the mean streets of Los Angeles might be this month’s biggest surprise. While writer/director Gordon doesn’t bring us giant spiders or enormous go-go dancing teens this go-round, he still manages to make everything seem larger than life with exaggerated situations and over-the-top performances. Chuck Connors stars as William Dorn, the eponymous “Mad Bomber,” who wants to make society pay for its transgressions after the drug overdose death of his daughter. With his comically strict adherence to decorum and social etiquette (think Serial Mom), Dorn almost could have been a character in a John Waters movie. Meanwhile a serial rapist (Neville Brand) is roaming the streets, and one police detective (Vince Edwards) thinks he may be the only person who can identify the bomber. Filled with nutty dialogue, gratuitous nudity, and a shaky moral compass, The Mad Bomber may not be anyone’s definition of “quality” cinema, but it’s damned entertaining – a career best for Gordon. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Midnight Pulp

Hidden Poster

Hidden (2015) Before they hit the big time with Stranger Things (2016), writing/directing duo the Duffer Brothers made this gripping sci-fi/horror film set in a post-apocalyptic landscape. Ray and Claire (Alexander Skarsgård and Andrea Riseborough) live with their young daughter Zoe (Emily Alyn Lind) in a dingy underground shelter, below the charred ruins of a town. They live in a constant state of vigilance, avoiding the roaming “Breathers” who live above ground. With shades of Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend, and pre-figuring the thematically similar A Quiet Place (2018), Hidden is a taut, claustrophobic thriller with an interesting twist. 

Rating: ***½. Available on DVD

Bury Me an Angel Poster

Bury Me an Angel (1971) Writer/director Barbara Peeters’ (Humanoids from the Deep) biker revenge flick is almost worthy of its own sub-genre, due to its unconventional protagonist. When her brother is shot and killed for stealing a chopper, Dag (Dixie Peabody) embarks on a quest to find the killer, and exact her own brand of justice. As she roam’s the dusty landscape of the American Southwest, accompanied by fellow biker friends Jonsie and Bernie, they cross paths with a self-important cop (“What in the cornbread hell is going on?”), an officious high school principal, and a self-proclaimed witch. The standard revenge plot is nothing new, but Peabody keeps it fresh as the anti-authority lead character. 

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray and Prime Video

The Ghastly Ones Poster

The Ghastly Ones (1968) This head-scratcher from writer/director Andy Milligan is another bargain-basement Victorian-period drama with costumes (courtesy of Milligan) that look like they were hastily assembled from old curtains and carpet scraps (which probably isn’t far from the truth). Three sisters and their husbands are invited to a weekend at their deceased father’s estate, where they soon discover someone wants them dead. Milligan regular Hal Borske plays a hunchbacked servant with a surprising past, while one of the few bright spots is Milligan muse Neil Flanagan, who’s underused as an elderly lawyer. 

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray (in The Dungeon of Andy Milligan Collection), DVD and Tubi

 

3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt Poster

Three Nuts in Search of a Bolt (1964) Director/co-writer Tommy Noonan also stars as himself as a nebbish-y out-of-work actor. His luck changes when he’s hired by three individuals: unlucky-in-love stripper Saxie Symbol (Mamie Van Doren), a narcissist, and an alcoholic misanthrope. They can’t afford therapy individually, so they have Noonan stand in their place, as a patient with dissociative identity disorder. Psychiatrist Dr. Myra Von (Ziva Rodann) sees him as her cash cow, while Noonan struggles to keep up the charade. This “adults only” movie (filmed in black and white with color fantasy sequences) might have been risqué stuff by early ‘60s standards, but seems positively tame now, and what passes for “comedy” doesn’t translate well to modern audiences, starting with Noonan’s unfunny performance. 

Rating: **. Available on DVD and Tubi 

 

 

Sunday, March 16, 2025

Announcing the Adventure-a-Thon!

 

Adventure-a-Thon Banner - Indiana Jones

Put on your safari hat and fasten your seatbelts, because Yours Truly and Gill from Realweegiemidget Reviews are about to take you on an Adventure-a-Thon! What exactly is an Adventure-a-thon, and how can you take part in all the fun? Read on, dear friends…

Big Trouble in Little China

The Adventure-a-Thon is a three-day (plus) celebration of the somewhat all-inclusive term, “Adventure.” Whether you’re traversing the Sahara, discovering ancient artifacts, or exploring the ocean’s depths, adventure is where you find it. For the purpose of this blogathon, we’re using IMDB’s definition. As a result, any film or television show that carries the “Adventure” label on the IMDB website (almost 52,000 choices!) is fair game.

Start your search here:

Movies (including TV movies) 

TV (TV shows) 

The Descent

But wait… There’s more! In conjunction with the Adventure-a-Thon theme, one lucky blogathon participant will win [Redacted]. Watch for the Day 1 Update on May 2nd, for a complete list of contest rules. Please be aware: the contest is open to blogathon participants in the USA, Canada and Mexico only! 

What: The Adventure-a-Thon 

Who: Hosted by Yours Truly (Barry P.) and Gill Jacob 

Where: Cinematic Catharsis and Realweegiemidget Reviews 

When: May 2-4, 2025

 

The Hunt for Red October

How: Please read the rules below, and send me your post request (review, podcast, etc…) via email (barry_cinematic@yahoo.com), BlueSky (@barrycinematic.bsky.social), Twitter/X (@barry_cinematic), Instagram (barry_cinematic), or by commenting below. You may also contact Gill by commenting on her post, or through her blog’s Contact Me page (Be sure to include a link to your blog, your blog’s title, and your preferred name). 

The Epic of Everest


The Rules… 

  1. You may review ANY film or TV show classified as “Adventure” on the IMDB website (see above for further details).
  2. Due to the large number of potential titles (nearly 52,000) for this topic, NO DUPLICATE MOVIE OR TV SHOW TITLES WILL BE ALLOWED. If a specific title has already been claimed, you may only include that title if it’s part of a list or retrospective review.
  3. Review choices may be requested as a comment on this page or you may contact me or Gill through the methods listed above.
  4. Add your BlueSky, Twitter/X or Instagram username so I can promote your post.
  5. A full list of blogs and review choices will be posted on a separate page (hosted by Gill), and updated regularly.
  6. Only original, never-before-published posts will be accepted.
  7. Limit TWO blog posts per participant, please.
  8. Please choose one of the banners below to display on your blog.
  9. Since Gill and I reside in two completely different time zones, please send a link of your post(s) to me and Gill on one of the days of the blogathon. Note: We will be publishing all links on both blogs, but due to the substantial time difference, your post might show up on a different day.
  10. The contest hosted by Barry is only open to blogathon participants in the USA, Canada or Mexico. If you wish to be considered for Barry’s contest, be sure to watch for the complete contest rules, which will be posted on the first day of the blogathon.
  11. Please also note: Gill and I have already claimed the following titles below: 

Gill at Realweegiemidget Reviews – Half a Chance (aka: 1 Chance Sur 2) (1998) 

Barry at Cinematic Catharsis – Sorcerer (1977)

 

Adventure-a-Thon Banner - The African Queen

Adventure-a-Thon Banner - The Rocketeer

Adventure-a-Thon Banner - Raiders of the Lost Ark

Adventure-a-Thon Banner - Prey

 

 

Saturday, March 1, 2025

“Attack of the…” Month Quick Picks and Pans

 

Attack the Gas Station Poster

Attack the Gas Station (1999) A group of aimless Korean youths hold up a gas station for kicks, taking the employees hostage. They get more than they bargained for, however, when they inadvertently escalate a gang war. Attack the Gas Station approaches its subject with sly humor and unexpected depth, delving into the histories of the disenchanted anti-heroes. Fasten your seatbelts, and get ready for some anarchic fun. 

Rating: ***½. Available on DVD 

Attack of the Beast Creatures Poster

Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985) What do you do when you set out to make your own monster movie, but the estimate to have the monsters fabricated costs far more than the entire budget? You make your own. The results are (ahem)… well, they tried. The survivors of a doomed ocean liner in the North Atlantic, circa May 1920, end up on a seemingly uninhabited island. They soon discover deadly acid pools and a bunch of vicious little red humanoid creatures with glowing eyes and sharp teeth. Soon, they have to fight their way through a hostile forest to get back to the lifeboat. Director Michael Stanley’s no-budget made-in-Connecticut wonder is nothing, if not ambitious. It’s not good, but never fails to entertain, with bad acting, laughable effects, and unintentional humor. 

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray 

Gyo: Tokyo Fish Attack Poster

Gyo: Tokyo Fish Attack (2012) Takayuki Hirao’s anime adaptation of Junji Ito’s bleak manga Gyo cuts many corners, blending cell art with less effective computer-generated animation. While it’s not the best Ito adaptation, it’s far from the worst. A young woman on vacation with her friends, falls into a nightmare situation when they’re overrun by foul-smelling sea creatures with mechanical legs. She returns to an apocalyptic version of Tokyo on a quest to find her boyfriend. Gyo tries to be more “adult” with excessive fan service, which detracts from the plot. Nevertheless, the horror of Ito’s original story shines through, as humanity, paying for the sins of the fathers, is brought to the brink of extinction. 

Rating: ***. Available on DVD 

Attack of the Robots

Attack of the Robots (1966) This somewhat deceptively titled spy spoof from director Jesús Franco is surprisingly competent, if a bit generic. Eddie Constantine (Alphaville) stars as retired Interpol agent Al Pereira, who’s enlisted to foil a plot to turn people into zombie assassins (controlled by a pair of special horn-rimmed glasses). Sophie Hardy provides some sizzle as Pereira’s Interpol counterpart, Cynthia Lewis, but there’s little chemistry between the two leads. There’s also some uncomfortable “Chinese” stereotypes portrayed by Spanish actor Vicente Roca as counter-spy, Lee-Wee. Look for Franco in a cameo as a nightclub pianist.   

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Tubi 

Attack of the Giant Teacher Poster

Attack of the Giant Teacher (2019) Kenzo Miyazawa (Makoto Kojima) is a night school teacher at a career crossroads, lacking energy or enthusiasm for his job. When he learns that the school is being closed down at the end of the year, he encourages his confused students to plan one final event: an Edo-period musical. Oh, and there just happens to be an insatiably hungry alien who wants to put Earth’s residents on its dinner plate. Attack of the Giant Teacher features some surprisingly colorful characters. Unfortunately, its reach far exceeds its grasp, with dreadful CGI effects and the giant teacher vs. kaiju action implied by the title doesn’t occur until the final five minutes. It probably would have been better to scrap the tokusatsu plot in favor of focusing on the dynamic of teacher and students alone, but the film has its moments. 

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Tubi

Ski Troop Attack Poster

Ski Troop Attack (1960) Filmed in South Dakota with most of the same cast and crew as Beast from Haunted Cave (1959), Roger Corman’s cut-rate World War II “epic” runs just over an hour (including a heap of stock footage). A small ragtag bunch of American soldiers led by the gung-ho Lt. Factor (Michael Forest) attempt to destroy a bridge, deep inside enemy territory. It’s pretty standard stuff, down to the soldier who can’t wait to get back home (Guess what happens to him?). For Corman completists only. 

Rating: **. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Tubi

Attack of the Killer Refrigerator 

Attack of the Killer Refrigerator (1990) Shot on VHS for what looks like $50 (folks, this isn’t the movie to showcase your 4K TV), this horror spoof takes place during the course of one evening in a suburban house. After partying young people scrape the ice out of a refrigerator, the (wounded?) kitchen appliance is out for revenge, picking off the residents and guests one by one – and that’s about it. The short film only runs 16 minutes, so you don’t have much time to be bored. 

Rating: *½. Available on Blu-ray



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