It’s
not easy discussing my emotions publicly. I tend to keep things bottled up, instead
of expressing myself. I try to quell the
nagging voice in my skull that proclaims a movie blog isn’t a place for
non-movie things, but life sometimes gets in the way. This week felt like déjà
vu – nearly three years after I lost my father, another beloved parent was gone.
After battling lymphoma for more than a year, my mom succumbed to the disease, passing
away one month shy of her 85th birthday. Once again, I was flooded
with positive comments on Twitter, from people I’ve never met, yet consider my
friends (I sincerely hope some of us can meet someday). I am thankful to have
such support, and to share my experience with those who experienced similar
losses. I’m grateful to have met such amazing people online, and our
association has made getting through this difficult time a bit easier.
It’s
hard to reconcile a lifetime of memories, good and bad. My mom and I were
close, but our relationship was complex at times, fraught with ambivalence. What
I will remember the most, however, is how she always took the time to listen to
me, and provided unconditional support of my endeavors, no matter how outlandish
they might have seemed. For good or ill, I’ve inherited her world-weary outlook,
sardonic sense of humor and borderline misanthropic leanings. She was a
fiercely independent individual, who preferred staying home to traveling. She
didn’t have much use for most people or social gatherings, but she cared deeply
for her children and grandchildren, was a voracious reader, and enjoyed the
peace that came with tending to her garden. Words can’t adequately express how
much I’ll miss her.
Because
the past year has been touch and go, my blog output hasn’t been quite up to
snuff in recent months. Let me re-assure you, however, this is not one of those posts. I’m not going away, and
neither is the blog. Although the quantity of posts has suffered, I hope the
quality, such as it is, hasn’t been compromised. Things will not be slowing
down but picking up. I believe the best therapy is staying busy, and if anything,
I hope to increase my presence in the months ahead. I plan to forge ahead with
some big plans on the horizon, including new theme months, and perhaps a few
surprises. Seven-plus years is a long run without any major updates, and you
can’t blame me if I’m ready to do some remodeling on this site. What those
changes are going to look like, though, I have no idea.
At
the risk of sounding like one of those trite inspirational posters, I’ll leave
you with a couple of things: Don’t miss the opportunity to let your friends and
loved ones know how important they are to you. Celebrate life, and don’t put
things off indefinitely, because you never know how much time is left.
Much
love and appreciation to my dear, regular readers.
Lovely post Barry, and sending you my best wishes. Take care. Gillx
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Gill.
DeleteMy condolences on the loss of your mother, and hoping for good things ahead for you and yours. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words. I really appreciate it.
DeleteThank you for sharing this, Barry.
ReplyDeleteA loss of a parent is a painful and strange experience.
Take what time you need and do what you need to do.
Thanks for the support, John.
DeleteVery sorry to hear this sad news, Barry. I hope you're doing OK during this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words. Just taking things day by day.
Delete